Gutfeld: Masks could be part of the identity of the American left forever

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I’m so excited, and you know why?

Because we have a new class of victims, which is now a target of discrimination, even hatred. They are called “the masked ones”.

It appears the Department of Justice is appealing the recent court ruling to reinstate the mask mandate on planes, trains and buses.

No word yet on escalators, elevators, or when Tyrus carries me down a flight of stairs. Yes, like a little child.


The CDC, which now represents the Center for Domination & Control, also said face diapers were still necessary for indoor travel, saying it was to protect our health, but also to protect their authority.

Information signs are displayed at a retail store in Buffalo Grove, Illinois. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)
(AP Pictures)

Certainly, they fear that this recent decision will make the CDC as irrelevant as the Cuomo brothers.

And while there are new cases of COVID, hospitalizations remain flatter than Lia Thomas in a high tube.

So what you see is an essential problem that comes with power. They start to like wars, but they hate to end them. Do you want evidence ? Look at Vietnam or Afghanistan.

They went far beyond the public’s desire. Meanwhile, the Patriot Act has more extensions than Kat. Look at the war on drugs, it’s still going on. Still, Kat and I win. However, it is a war that claims more victims than it prevents.

It’s like COVID. They create the problem, then they create a solution that doesn’t work and causes permanent damage. And COVID is another war those in power want to stay because it gives them the power to fuck with your freedoms.

As Politico points out, public health and legal experts fear this will diminish their power over public health. And did you see how the media reacted to the end of the mask’s tenure? Not good.

JOY REID: Did announcing the end of the mask mandate literally in the middle of a flight allow those A-holes to win?

LAWRENCE O’DONNELL: It was basically Donald Trump as a federal judge today.

JOE SCARBOROUGH: I don’t think that decision makes much legal sense.

MSNBC GUEST: She is obviously ignorant.

CNN CORRESPONDENT: This is a court decision. It is not a scientific decision.

GUEST ABC: Well, not only is it not the right time, it’s a little early, but it’s not even the right way that these warrants were overturned.

DR. PIERRE HOTEZ: The idea that a random federal judge in Florida would overrule the Centers for Disease Control is also a scary precedent to set.

Toobin looks terrible.

The thing is, there is no mask confusion. If you want to wear one, knock yourself out, because if you don’t, someone unmasked will, according to Chuckle Bucket Paul Krugman, who predicts violence against “the masked.”

So should we now expect a wave of new hidden hate crimes? Isn’t that what they want, more conflict created by a new category of division?

The pandemic triggers the tribal instinct of the left, so much so that it creates a new protected class: “the masked”.

In identity politics, you have people of color, women, non-binary types, people with disabilities. More importantly, you have the oppressed who can do no harm and the oppressors who can do no good. And the masked will fit right in if the media and the Democrats are successful.

And they will be immune to criticism and still attacked by hateful Republicans.

Coronavirus prevention masks.

Coronavirus prevention masks.

So what’s the next step? Hate crimes legislation to protect masked people? And if I choose to wear a mask, will I appropriate the identity of the authentically masked?

Can a person applying to university get a special dispensation if they check the “hidden” box? Will companies create mask diversity programs to encourage more masks to join the company?

Will their non-masked employees ever have to train a masked person to take their job? Will Yankee Stadium have a Mask Day? Will Hollywood now have movies where one or two characters are masked all the time?

Will there be a breakthrough television series in which two masked people kiss? What if safe spaces were to be protected from the unmasked?

When you enter a restaurant, will you have the choice to sit in the “masked” or “unmasked” section? Will Darth Vader be their Gandhi?

Will Slipknot get a Medal of Honor? Will the Hamburglar finally get parole? And what about Buckethead?

No, you don’t know who Buckethead is, so I won’t even ask.

Because that’s how leftism works, identifying a group, establishing its victimhood, targeting the oppressor, and then all inordinately passing off rare events as ubiquitous.

MASKED STAFF: Hey, why didn’t you hold the door for me, you jerk? Is it because I wear a mask?

UNMASKED STAFF: I’m sorry. I didn’t even see you there.

MASKED STAFF: Never mind, bigot.

BARIST: Very well. A large latte and it will cost more for the added espresso.

MASKED STAFF: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you really just charge me extra for wearing a mask?

BARIST: No, additional injections cost more. I don’t really follow your logic here. I’m sorry.

MASKED STAFF: Apparently you don’t follow the science either, do you, mask hater?

UNMASKED STAFF: Well, you have a very impressive resume, but I’m sorry, we just can’t hire you right now.

MASKED CANDIDATE: Oh, is it because I cover my face?

UNMASKED STAFF: Well, yes, actually. I mean, the job is for a literal lipstick model. I need to see your lips.

MASKED CANDIDATE: Oh yeah? Well, read my lips.

UNMASKED STAFF: You know I can’t.

MASKED CANDIDATE: Yesour heart is full of hate.

Horrible person.

Of course, it’s not like people say you can’t wear a mask. Instead, it’s about people in power forcing you to wear one. That’s why events like the Met Gala, where the powerful prance unmasked while the servants remain masked, kind of make your stomach turn.

It’s a reminder of low status and how the left yearns for class distinctions. Extremism therefore does not come from the unmasked, but from the pro-masks who in private do not wear them anyway.


It reminds me of how the American left viewed burqas. They defended the right of women to wear them, as if there was a choice.

No, in many Islamic countries, if you didn’t wear a burqa, may Allah help you, you would be beaten or worse.

But instead of the left saying women should be free not to wear a burqa, they said they should be free to wear one. It was sneaky b——- based on the idea that there could only be one oppressor, and that’s always the American public, not radical Islamists.

Who with these poor people cling to their face layers.

I use that term because a lot of their champions are s—. But it could be part of their identity forever. It’s like a bumper sticker on their face that says “Dick on board” or “I like groupthink.”

I say, let them wear them as long as they want.

It’s like a face tattoo. It’s a good way to find out who would be a bad babysitter.

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